There is a little story...that teaches a lot...

A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure out how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young boy. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, from the top to the bottom.

Two of the ship's owners were present there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped at something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!

            A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars. "What?!" the owners exclaimed, "He hardly did anything!"  So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

The man sent a bill that read :

Tapping with a hammer .............$       2.00

Knowing where to tap.................$ 9998.00

Moral of the Story .....

Effort is important in life, but knowing where to put your effort makes all the difference . So put your great effort on right place….have very successful day...

Year: 2020

 Place: IBM, USA (Two Americans Talking)

 Currency Conversion Rate: INR 1 Re = USD $ 100 
 
 Alex: Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office?

 John: Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.

 Alex: Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very
 strict.

 John: Yeah, but I managed to get it.

 Alex: How long it took to get it stamped?

 John: Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front
 of me and they played with him like anything. That's why it got delayed.
 I went there at 2 amitself and waited and returned by 4pm.

 Alex: Really? In India, it is a matter of an hour to get stamped for USA

 John: Yeah, but that is because who in Indiawill be interested in coming
 to USA man, their economy has been booming.

 Alex: So, when are you leaving?

 John: Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you
 know, I will be getting a chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come
 true.

 Alex: How long are you going to stay in India.

 John: What do you mean by how long? I will be settled in India , my
 company has promised me that they will process my Hara Patta ...(green
 card)

 Alex: Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult to get a Hara Patta
 in India ..

 John: Yeah, that's why, I am planning to marry an Indian girl there.

 Alex: But you can find lots of US girls in Hyderabad, Bangaloreand
 Gurgaon. 

 John: But, I prefer Indian girls because they are beautiful and cultured.

 Alex: Where did you get the offer, Bangalore ? 

 John: Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living is quite high, it is
 Rs. 1000/- for a single room accommodation.

 Alex: I see, that's too much for US people, Re.1/- =$100/-. Oh God! what
 about in Hyderabad ,Gurgaon?
 
 John: No idea, but it is less than what we have in Bangalore . It is
 like the world headquarters of software

 Alex: I heard, almost all the Indians are having one personal Robot for
 help.

 John: You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a personal Robot for less
 than Rs.7500/-. But my dream is to purchase Ambassador, which costs
 Rs.2,00,000/- but has got a lovely design. 

 Alex: By the way, who is your client?

 John: Subbarao and Apparao Associates, a pure Indian company,
 specialising in Embedded Software.

 Alex: Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian company. They are really
 intelligent and unlike American Bodyshoppers who have opened their
 Fly-by-night outfits in India. Indian companies pay you in full even when
 you are on bench.
 My friend Paul Allen, it seems, used his bench time to visit Bihar, the
 most liveable place in India, probably world. There you have full
 freedom and no restrictions. You can do whatever you want! I wonder how
 that state has perfected that system.

 John: Yeah man!, you are right. I hope our America also follows their
 footsteps.

 Alex: How are you going to cope with their language? 

 John: Why not? From my school days I have been learning Hindi as my first
 language here at New York. At the Consulate they tested my proficiency in
 Hindi and were quite impressed by my cent per cent score in TOHIL i.e.
 Test of Hindi as International Language.

 Alex: So, you are going to have fun there.

 John: Yeah, I will be travelling in the world's fastest train, world's
 largest theme park, and the famous Bollywood where you can see actors
 like, Hrithik, Shah Rukh Khan and all. Esselworld is also near Bollywood.

 Alex: You know, the PM is scheduled to visit US next year, he may then
 relax the number of visas.

 John: That's true. Last month, Narayana Murthy visited White House and
 donated Rs. 2000/- for infrastructure development at aSiliconValleyand
 has promised more if we follow the model of High-Tech City of Bangalore
 . Bill Gates also got a chance of meeting him. Very lucky person.

 Alex: But, Indian government is planning to split Narayanamurthy's
 Infosys.

 John: He is a hard worker man, he can build any number of Infosys like
 this. Every minute he is getting Rs. 1000/-. It seems, if you keep all
 his money converted as Rs. 100/- notes you can reach Pluto. 

 Alex: OK, Good Luck John.

 John: Same to you Alex. And don't go to Consulate in a "Kurta Pyjama"
 because they will think you are too Indianised and may doubt you will
 never come back and hence your Non-Immigrant Visa may get rejected. But
 don't forget to say " Namaste, aap kaise hai " to the Visa officer at
 Window 5. It seems he likes that and will not give you a visa if you
 don't greet him that way.

I owe this story to one of my collegue, Padmanabha. I heard it from him...

This is a true story of a young college girl who passed away last month. Her name was Priya. She was hit by a lorry. She has a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the phone. You can never see her without her handphone. In fact she also changed her phone from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.

She spends half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family. (just imagine their love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people cant carry her coffin, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called their neighbour, a "bomoh" from Thailand (pak Darin), who is a friend of her father. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". then her friends told Darin about her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the coffin and place her phone and SIM card inside the casket. after that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked. (can u feel the fear. I'm shaking at this moment)

Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away. After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom. Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, i wanna surprise her." Her mother replied....."You come home first, i wanna tell you something very important." after he came, they told him the truth about Priya.

Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "dont try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her Please stop this nonsense". then they show him the original death certificate to him. They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) ..

He said... "Its not true. we spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Shankar was shaking. Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from Priya, see this..." he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer.he talked using the loudspeaker mode. all of them heard his conversation.

Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her SIM card since it is nailed inside the coffin they were so shocked and asked for pak Darin's help again. pak Darin brought his master (tok Chen) to solve this matter. He & Darin worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing...
 

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>HUTCH :-) .....

     ............Wherever you go, our network follows!!!!

Flight announcement of an Economic Airlines...received this good one by e-mail..could not resist to share with you...

WELCOME TO AIR DUKKAN...
 
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen....
 
This is your captain PATEL welcoming both seated and standing passengers
on board of Air Dukkan.We apologize for the five-hours delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and partly due to the search for a missing tyre. This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in India . And, if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!
 
Air Dukkan has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our Passengers have reached their destination.
 
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve Complimentary Daru and Vada Pav. For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
 
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Kingfisher Airline, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin
window.
 
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the Cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!
 
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible. For the best view , if however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
 
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly Fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardes
 

How do Japanese companies improve their productivities? The main answer is definitely through technological improvements. But there are something also which imparts a lot in their high productive industries, that is the way they maintain their workplace, known as 5S - a way of well maintained work place invented by none other then the citizens of Nippon.

5S is a concept which collaborates 5 activities, each starts with the English letter 'S' and very powerfully denotes the work place behaviour in any Japanese company. Many companies in the world have adopted and practices 5S and undoubtedly they do perform better. Boeing, HP, Boise Cascade, Tecumseh are some of the well know companies who practice 5S philosophy. Statistics show that 5S improved their productivity and performance in many ways and put them ahead of their competitors. It is not always the technical edge that makes companies shine, it is these subtle practices and disciplines that make the difference.

The 5S are five Japanese words: SEIRI, SEITON, SEISO, SEIKETSU and SHITSUKE.

SEIRI: This is organizing things that you require and disposing off things that you do not need any more. Seiri means tidiness, organization. Seiri refers to the practice of sorting through all the tools, materials, etc., in the work area and keeping only essential items. Everything else is stored or discarded. This leads to fewer hazards and less clutter to interfere with productive work.

SEITON: Once things are sorted they should be kept in designated places to retrieve later for use. This is called Seiton, which means storing the things choosen as required, in a dedicated place. Seiton mean orderliness. Focuses on the need for an orderly workplace. Tools, equipment, and materials must be systematically arranged for the easiest and most efficient access. There must be a place for everything, and everything must be in its place. The standard in industry is you should find a tool/material within 20 seconds or less, to be productive. Search a tool / material for hours, and you are gone, and will loose your vital time in work.

SEISO: This means cleanliness. At the end of your shift clean the machineries, tools for future usage. Seiso indicates the need to keep the workplace clean as well as neat. Cleaning in Japanese companies is a daily activity. At the end of each shift, the work area is cleaned up and everything is restored to its place.

SEIKETSU: This means following a prticular standard. This allows for control and consistency. Basic housekeeping standards apply everywhere in the facility. Everyone knows exactly what his or her responsibilities are. House keeping duties are part of regular work routines. 10-15 minutes before and after the work shift, dedicated for only 5S, as an industry standard.

SHITSUKE: This refers to workplace discipline. Shisuke means sustaining discipline. This refers to maintaining standards and keeping the facility in safe and efficient order day after day, year after year. This is most important in the sense that whatever we learnt in earlier 4 S's should be practiced in true spirit throughout the year. This should become a discipline it its own way.

Hey..this one is good..I do not know who created this but I really appreciate his/her creativity and owe this to him/her.

Enjoy....

Hi, was away for some time. Now am in Florida, for a new assignment. Found this one from mail, good one to go through..and enjoy the relationships between two words....

Amazing Anagrams...

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:  DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters: I M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:  WOMAN HITLER

This time we celebrated Durga Puja in London, UK. The photo here is from Camden Centre Puja, which is held in collaboration with the British Museum. The idol was made in the Museum with artisans flown from Kolkata. It was kept there for a month long exhibition before shifting to Camden Centre in a huge procession. This is probably London's biggest Puja celebration and was attended by lot of people, including Bengalis, non-bengalis,  even I saw few 'Angrez' enjoying the festival in Camden centre.  The idol 'immersion' on the Thames on the day of Dasami also was of great attention and pictures of the immersion was printed on the free newspaper 'Metro' avialable in Tube/Bus stations.

Folks,

Please read this patiently....

You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this.  This
is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC (IAS)
Examinations.

The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow :

Indian Cow
-----------

HE IS THE COW.  "The cow is a successful animal.  Also he is 4 footed,
And because he is female, he give milks, [but will do so when he is got child].  He is same like God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.  But he has got four legs together.  Two are forward and two are afterwards.

His whole body can be utilised for use.  More so the milk.  Milk comes
from 4 taps attached to his basement. [horses don't have any such
attachment]

What can it do ? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed milk and so forth.  Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans
and mankind generally.  His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species, Also his other motion.. [gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes [like Pizza], in hand and drying in the sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating.  Then
afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of
the mouth.  He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.  His only
attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child.  This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.  He has got tails also, situated in the backyard,but not like similar animals.  It has hairs on the other end of the other side.  This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch.  So the grasses head is
not crushed.  At night time have poses by looking down on the ground
and he shouts.  His eyes and nose are like his other relatives.  This is the cow......

We are informed that the candidate passed the exam, and is now an IAS,
is bihar in somewhere..[sorry somewhere in Bihar

Thank You So Much for all of your support and appreciation.